A Kite in the wind

A laugh and a tear
Transparent thoughts...
She laughs at the irony
of not having a friend
No one is there
only-
silence
graves
longing.

Searching always for love
Finding it in people
and then losing it like air
She gasps to breathe
but breath comes in ripping coughs.

She draws a jagged line down the paper
Separating her pain from hope
On one side is a sketch of a girl
Swinging back and forth
from a tree branch
As the snow covers her closed lids
She is confused
Why did autumn have to end?
Why are the trees so bare and dead?

Her mind is in pieces and she wonders
yes... wonders at her own selfishness
At this need...this dreadful need for friendship

She fumbles through the pages of Kite Runner
The friendship between Amir and Hassan
and the price one pays for betraying a brother...
A tear rolls down her face
It rolls down down down to the depths of her soul
Because she knows...yes knows that she too betrayed.

She betrayed and hurt her...her own sister
The only sister she ever had or ever will have
And she cannot take it back.
She cannot take back the words
that cut her to pieces like needles
A pain deeper than the papercut on her knuckle
This pain is internal
and it spins her mind out of control
Out of control like a kite in the wind.